a hot mess

it's only 8 o'clock, but i want to go to bed. i am SO tired and i don't know why! well, i guess there are a lot of reasons... i got up early today (5:30) so i definitely did not get my full eight hours... it's rainy and it's been rainy... the stress of my car has been wearing me out (i got it back today but they couldn't diagnose the problem so i finally called my dad and he called GM and we're just gonna let it be for now... kinda freaks me out, but whatever)... and i've just been kind of blah all day today... i had an upset stomach earlier (and i just mean i was kind crampy... i think i'm getting too old for taco bell) and then i almost cried at school twice... once when i was getting ready to call my dad, but i think i just felt emotional and wanted him to take care of everything for me and then like 20 minutes later and i was hoping to see my favorite seniors in the hall, i realized it was their last regular day of school (tomorrow is a half day and they have their finals monday and tuesday so they don't have to go to all their classes those days) and i was thinking about i might never see or talk to some of them again... i had to blink away tears... i'm gonna be a mess next week! these kids better all say bye to me and give me big hugs! oh and now i have to blink the tears away again... seriously, i know like half of the senior class and love most of them like crazy... i gotta stop thinking about it! i think i'm gonna cry more about their high school graduation than i did about mine! (but it still will be nothing compared to the college cry... i was a mess! or as my kids would say, a hot mess!) i'm kind of over the tired thing... i bought a pack of graduation cards a couple weeks ago... maybe i'll write letters to some of my kids... i'll probably end up balling, but it's okay, sometimes it feels good to let it all out!